Friday, December 20, 2013

5 Things I've noticed about... The Illuminati

The Illuminati. That secretive group conspiracy theorists believe have a great amount of power and want to take over the world.

There are a lot of accusations leveled against the Illuminati, and out of all of those accusations I've noticed many things and traits about the group.

Now out of all of the things and traits that I have noticed about the Illuminati I've narrowed it down to five distinct things.

So here are five things that I've noticed about the Illuminati:

5. They are the most patient people in the world.

The Illuminati has to be composed of some of the most patient people in the world. I say this because according to people who "investigate" the Illuminati (i.e. people who spend most of their free time watching or creating Youtube videos about the Illuminati, and listening to Alex Jones) have been doing stuff for years in order to get ready to take over the world, as well as kill 80%-90% of the population, and enslave everyone else.

Now as to how long the Illuminati have been plotting to take over the Earth no one (and by "no one" I mean conspiracy theorists) is really sure because no one is really sure how old the Illuminati is. Most conspiracy theorists say they're around two and a half centuries old, although others say they're as old as civilization, or even older, while others say they're only about a century or so old.

Regardless of how old the Illuminati is, the fact that they have been allegedly at this taking over the world thing for a very long time clearly shows that they are composed of the world's most patient individuals... or the world's worst procrastinators.

Now I would think that there would be atleast a few people in the Illuminati who wants to really push forward in taking over the world. I say this because apparently the Illuminati has a huge membership, so I would think that there would be atleast a few ambitious individuals amongst themselves.

Infact when thinking about that huge membership of their's it almost seems like that...

4. Everyone is apart of the Illuminati.

According to conspiracy theorists there are a huge amount people (probably in the tens of millions) who are members, or atleast works for, the Illuminati. This alleged list includes actors, musicians (actually any celebrity really), rich people, politicians, high ranking military officers, anyone in the CIA, or FBI, or NSA, whistleblowers, religious leaders, myself and fellow skeptics, and even other conspiracy theorists. Heck, even Alex Jones whom constantly "speaks out" against the Illuminate has himself been accused of being a member of the Illuminati.

Now taking all of this "information" (a.k.a. accusations) into account by my estimates I believe there are only eight people in the world are not apart of the Illuminati...

I admit I might be a little off on my math there, but still that's an awful lot of people who are apart of this super secret organization (so secret that there is no real proof of it's existence).

Ofcourse when you also consider how many people who are apart of this alleged secret organization it shouldn't also be surprising to know that...

3. They control everything.

According to many conspiracy theorists the Illuminati controls everything from the media, to the military, to the manufacturing industries, the airline industry (because how else are they going to spray chemtrails), the entertainment industry, the UN, the European Union, the Free Masons, the US government, law enforcement, major religions, minor religious, cults, the Democrats, the Republicans, the banks, most other governments, the oil industry, the pharmaceutical industry... the list just keeps going on and on.

I'm not sure what is crazier: the fact that the Illuminati allegedly controls all this and so much more, or the fact that the Illuminati allegedly controls all of this and hasn't even bothered to officially take control of the world and continues to lurk in the shadows while leaving symbols on things that have little to no meaning to most people inorder to show those people that they are incharge despite the fact that most people don't even believe that the Illuminati exists, and with good reason...

2. There's no evidence of their existence.

There is no proof that the Illuminati exists. Despite the amount of people who have been accused of being apart of the Illuminati, and despite the numerous tragic events that the Illuminati are accused of orchestrating, no one has ever brought any proof that they do exist, nor that they were once a member of the Illuminati, nor that they are involved in any events what so ever.

The only thing that conspiracy theorists have that even comes close to being "evidence" (and even that is a stretch) are the numerous "symbols" that the Illuminati allegedly likes to place up on everything. Despite what conspiracy theorists believe these symbols are not evidence of the existence of the Illuminati, and most often times means something else entirely than what a conspiracy theorist (and even non-conspiracy theorists) believes it to mean.

These Illuminati conspiracy theories are just a bunch of blame redirecting by people who believe that all of the world's problems, or their own problems, are being caused by some shadowy group that controls everything. These conspiracy theories are entirely made up... well, maybe not "entirely" made up, because...

1. The Illuminati conspiracy theories sound an awful lot like the old Jewish conspiracy theories.

One of the most common traits that I have noticed amongst the Illuminati conspiracy theories (especially the basic ones) is that they very closely resemble the antisemitic, Jewish conspiracy theories of a few decades ago. Infact if you were to replace the word "Illuminati" with the word "Jewish" or "Jew" it would sound exactly like one of the old Jewish conspiracy theories.

I'm not sure if the people who created these Illuminati conspiracy theories either ripped off the old Jewish conspiracy theories and replaced the words "Jewish" and "Jew" with "Illuminati", or if "Illuminati" is a code word for "Jewish", but the people who created these conspiracy theories sure did get a lot of inspiration from the older Jewish conspiracy theories.

Also it shouldn't be to surprising that many of these Illuminati conspiracy theorists are they themselves antisemitic and often times try to tie in the Jewish people (or to a lesser extent Israel) with the Illuminati.

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