Wednesday, October 30, 2013

5 Things I've noticed about... Zombies

Well it's Halloween time and so I decided to do something special and talk about a monster that everyone seems to like these days: Zombies!!!

Zombies are ofcourse the reanimated corpses of people who's only goal in their new life is to eat other people (preferably living).

Now there are lots of things that I (and I'm sure many others) have noticed about zombies, but I've narrowed it down to five different things.

So here are five things I've noticed about zombies:

5. They're hard to kill.

(Author's note: before anyone says it, yes I know zombies are technically dead, but because saying that you're killing them is the simplest term I can come up with when it concerns taking one out, I've decided to use that.)

Thanks to movies and television shows many people have been led to believe that zombies are easy to kill, what with many screens of only a few people taking on huge hordes of the undead, I would believe that too. The problem with this is that this is unrealistic (besides the fighting zombies part) and it would actually be pretty difficult to kill a zombie.

I'm sure that everyone knows that you have to destroy a zombie's brain inorder to kill it (you can cut a zombie's head and the head will still be alive) but this is not as easy as it sounds because the brain is actually a pretty small target. For most people they would have to get pretty close to someone if they are shooting them inorder to hit their brain, especially if you're using a pistol or even a shotgun, and if you have a melee weapon, you have to get up close regardless.

Now some people might think that it is okay to fight up close against a zombies because that is how it is often depicted in movies and TV, but infact...

4. People fight them the wrong way.

I know that in movies and on TV that often times battles with zombies are depicted as being up close and personal type of combat, and if you were to fight one or two of them up close there wouldn't be any problems, but if you were to fight an entire zombie horde... you're zombie food, because while you might be able to take a lot of them out, unless you can escape as quickly as possible, the zombies will overwhelm you and eat you!

The best way (and safest) to fight zombies is from a distance with a rifle, which is more accurate and has a greater range than a shotgun or a pistol.

Also, being up high (like in a tree) helps as well, just be sure you have a way to escape quickly incase a zombie horde is coming and you have to get out of there.

3. The supernatural explanation for them makes more sense than the viral explanation.

In almost all modern versions of zombies they are most often depicted as becoming member of the undead via a virus of some type, and while this make seem like a rational and logical explanation for why a zombie would exist in the first place, really the old traditional way that a corpse reanimates itself, via voodoo magic, makes more logical sense if you think about it.

Once a body is dead, it is dead, and short of a miracle or some break through in science, there is no way to bring it back to life, especially with a virus. A virus might stay in a dead body for a while, but eventually it to will die. Viruses and human bodies simply don't work the way they are depicted in zombie movies and TV shows, and despite sounding logical, it really isn't.

Magic on the other hand would make more of a logical sense of how a zombie comes to be, because magic tends to ignore those annoying little things like "science" and "biology" that would much make the possibly of zombies becoming real via a virus all but impossible.

2. Hollywood tries to make their existence logical.

While zombies have in the recent years have been depicted in many good (and bad) horror movies and TV shows, Hollywood also tries to make a rational, logical, and science based explanation for the existence of zombies, usually as a result of a virus reanimating a corpse, and as I said above, while this may sound plausible, it is almost certainly impossible.

Ofcourse Hollywood being Hollywood has found a way around this by creating zombies that were never dead, but infact is a person whom was infected by a virus that makes them act like zombie.

Despite how far more logical this is than a virus bringing a corpse back to life (kind of) or magic, the person is not really a zombie because they are not dead, they're just someone whom was infected with a virus that made them become insanely violent.

1. They turn people into psychopaths.

While many people might believe that a zombie apocalypse would be fun, the fact remains is that any apocalypse (including one involving zombies) would still be extremely dangerous, and you're still killing people (I know they're already dead and are trying to eat you, but still...). I don't see how anyone could possibly considered that to be fun... unless you're a psychopath.

Now I'm not saying that everyone who wonders or even believes that they would enjoy a zombie apocalypse is psychopath, I'm just saying that if you really do want one, or if you truly believe that it would be fun shooting walking corpses, you should probably have head examined.

Sure, it might seem fun in video games and movies, but really, who other than a psychopath would seriously enjoy shooting people in the head, or taking a chainsaw to them?

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